Parenting the Digital Generation: A Growing Concern

By Ciara P. O’Connell 

Stonehill News Staff Writer

 

Parents say parenting is becoming more difficult as social media and technology increasingly saturate the lives of young children and families.

 

A recently released survey found that more than 66% of parents feel it is harder to raise children (ages 12 and under) today than two decades ago because of the fast-moving changes in technology.

 

The study, entitled “Parenting Kids in the Age of Screens”, was conducted by Brooke Auxier, Monica Anderson, Andrew Perrin, and Erica Turner in July of 2020. 

 

The findings exhibited that parents are more anxious about the screen time their children engage in, the content they consume, and how it affects their lives in the long term. 

 

Some of these main concerns include the way children behave, learn, socialize, and engage with the content presented to them, as well as the increased presence of bullying. 

 

Dr. Mike Darmstadt, a school psychologist at a public school district in New Jersey, said the misuse of technology has had a detrimental effect on children.

 

In his experience as an educator and psychologist, Darmstadt has witnessed the way children have an easier time picking on and bullying one another. 

 

“They have access to a greater audience through social media and it’s constant,” he said. 

 

He said that while technology can be a positive outlet if used correctly, it can be ten times more harmful when kids are not properly taught how to utilize it for good. 

 

“The Internet and technology are a tool, not unlike a hammer, or a car, or even a gun,” said Darmstadt. 

 

He said that if used for its intended purpose, the Internet and social media can make life more efficient. 

 

To Darmstadt, solving this issue of irresponsibility and lack of knowledge should be achieved by having parents monitor the digital lives of their children. 

 

Pew Research Center reported that most parents, despite having concerns, still allow for technology to dictate the lives of their children. 80% allow their children to spend time on a tablet computer, 63% to spend time on a smartphone, and 36% to use a voice activated assistant, like Siri or Amazon Alexa. 

 

YouTube, another major platform responsible for the media consumption of children, is a daily part of 53% of children’s lives, according to parents. However, 46% of parents find that YouTube has exposed their children to inappropriate content for their age. 

 

“Parents will allow kids to access anything they want and wonder why bad things are happening,” said Darmstadt. 

 

He believes the lack of monitoring done by parents contributes to way children act, as they lack the knowledge to differentiate between what is appropriate and what is inappropriate. 

 

Mirella Troy, a parent to two older children (ages 20 and 18) and one younger child (age 11), said she believes it is important for her to monitor her child’s interactions with social media so she can step in at the right moments and teach her to responsibly utilize the technology she has access to. 

 

“Children don’t realize that technology takes away the physical aspect of interaction. Something like text messages can be interpreted in many ways,” she said. 

 

Troy said that she routinely goes through her daughter’s texts to ensure that she uses appropriate language and does not receive anything potentially harmful, like violent or discriminatory content. 

 

Not all parents engage in this time-consuming process, though. 

 

“Many parents are distracted by their own lives and problems,” said Troy. 

 

Pew Research Center reports that 68% of parents struggle with the added burden of technology in their own lives, and some even find it to be a distraction and interfere with the time they spend with their children. 

 

Darmstadt, as both a professional and a parent, shared the same point of view as Troy when looking at technology as a dilemma for parents. 

 

“As time goes on, it gets harder for parents to put off the social media aspect,” Darmstadt said.

 

He recognizes the influences social media has on the younger generations and how children who are not given the same access, for example to social media, may be treated differently. 

 

“Kids can become isolated and chastised,” said Darmstadt. 

 

He believes that because social media can be a positive tool, parents shouldn’t shelter their children from it, but instead help them make good decisions while using it. This can ensure that little to no harm comes about as a result. 

 

By creating a foundation of how to responsibly incorporate technology in everyday use, parents can help their children find balance with the other aspects of their lives. 

 

“Oftentimes, social media takes away from what should be taking place and what is important,” said Troy. 

She sees that her daughter struggles with engagement and attention span more than her older kids because of the exposure to increased screen time. 

 

Troy said technology has exposed her daughter to inappropriate, unsuitable, or even false information, so she must serve as a facilitator to eliminate how much of that information is present on her daughter's smartphone. 

 

“They learn about things they are not necessarily ready for,” she said. 

 

Despite some content being geared toward certain groups, the exposure to information is not all bad. 

 

Video games, for example, give children access to people outside of small circle of family members and friends. 

 

“They can interact with similar, like-minded people,” said Darmstadt. 

 

This can expose children to people with different cultures, languages, cuisines, and more. 

 

Parents weigh these pros and cons to make decisions about their children’s screen time.

 

Pew Research Center found that 84% of parents are confident in their ability to know how much screen time is appropriate for their child. 

 

Some parents will even look toward others for parenting advice, with 61% going to doctors, 55% to other parents, and 45% to teachers. 

 

A tactic of 86% of parents is limiting the screen time of their children, and 80% even take away internet or screen time as a form of punishment. This serves as a “digital grounding” punishment that is used for discipline and teaching. 

 

Darmstadt said parents who continue to monitor and reinforce a good relationship with the internet will be in good shape. 

 

“It is so important for the time we live in,” he said.